


Don’t Come Back

by Wolfcry22



Series: Shame [12]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angry Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester is Protective of Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester is Sam Winchester's Parent, Drunk John Winchester, Gen, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, John Winchester Bashing, Overprotective Dean Winchester, Protective Dean Winchester, Sad Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 15:56:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26580259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfcry22/pseuds/Wolfcry22
Summary: Dean pays his father one last visit to hit home one final request. (Based on an episode from the TV show Sameless)
Series: Shame [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1883236
Kudos: 29





	Don’t Come Back

**Author's Note:**

> This is extremely short and plays with the fact that Dean never got to say a proper ‘goodbye’ to their father. This will show Dean going to a resting place that he and Sam made instead of where he was actually buried. I wanted to show Dean releasing some of the anger and resentment he held toward John. This is based on the moment where Fiona is standing over Monica’s grave when she died and I wanted to use that same energy for Dean.
> 
> Warning for brief strong language and possible triggering themes.

Dean trudged through the forest next to Bobby’s house with his hands shoved into his pockets. Cold air nipped at his ears and nose tip while leaves crunched under his boots. Frost was beginning to collect around the forest floor as well and freeze the ground. It wouldn’t be long before the entire forest would be covered in a thick layer of snow. If Dean wanted to make this hike, he had to do so now.

He finally stopped at a patch of open ground with disturbed dirt. He looked down and remembered a couple weeks back when he and Sam had made the trek here and buried some of their father’s belongings. Although his body wasn’t there, Sam and Dean still considered this to be his final resting place. Dean honestly couldn’t have cared less, but Sam had wanted somewhere that they could pay their respects. Dean hated the thought of it and honestly didn’t want to come back here ever again. However, something had pulled him toward it and he found himself needing to get this out of his system.

Dean kneeled down and pressed the tips of his fingers against the cool ground. They threaded slightly into the dirt and pushed against his nails. His eyes grew dull in indifference. He had hoped to feel something with idea of where his father was buried. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case.

He felt nothing.

Actually, Dean felt less than nothing. Pure indifference was another good way to try and describe it if Dean was being honest. Apathy could describe it too.

Thoughts brought Dean back to when he would look at their father and wish to see love or pride in his gaze. All he ever found was disappointment and rage. There had been so many times that Dean had trembled when his father spoke to him. He had reveled when he finally had become too big for his father to push around. John may have still have had a few inches on him, but he couldn’t bully Dean like he used to. Dean had gained a backbone and it hadn’t taken long for him to realize that John needed him more than he ever needed John. He could work and provide for Sam so much better than John ever could. Their father was just dead weight, weighing them down and causing them heartbreak. Dean wished he would’ve taken Sam and left when he had the chance.

Once Sam left things had only gotten worse for Dean. John blamed Dean for Sam’s departure and took out all of his own shortcomings on his eldest son. He had screamed at Dean and once threw a beer bottle at him. Dean had felt the heel of the bottle slice into his cheek, dangerously close to his eye. John had laughed when Dean sputtered in shock. That was when Dean had struck out at John and almost broken his jaw. John had been too wasted to remember it the next morning, but Dean still lived in fear of how his father may react to the tender bruise he had made. That was another moment when Dean knew that his father was a piece of shit and there was nothing changing him.

John’s death had almost brought a peace over Dean. He hated the idea that he owed his life to John for the deal that he made to save him. However, he would rather he be there to take care of Sam than their father. John was a son of a bitch and one kind gesture at the end of his life wasn’t going to change anything.

Dean leaned down close to the honorary grave. The only thing in the ground were a couple of his shirts and one or two pictures, but the intent was the same whether or not John’s body was buried there or not.

“Fuck you, Dad.”

Dean felt his throat seem to close against the emotion that welled inside of him. He sniffed hard, standing up and brushing leaves from his jeans. He gave a hard cough to clear his throat and drew his hand over his eyes to wick away the moisture before it could fall. He shouldn’t be mourning the life of a father that didn’t deserve it. 

In a sudden burst of rage, Dean balled his hand into a fist and struck it three times against the ground. Tremors pulsed back through his hand and radiated down his arm. He gasped in frustration once he finished, body rocking forward as a guttural cry left his throat. Anger burned inside of him so fierce that Dean feared it would consume him.

“Never come back, do you hear me? What’s dead should stay dead.” It was a sentiment often shared by hunters while not being readily practiced. Dean certainly meant this to his father. He did not want to see him again in any capacity. He needed John to know that Dean would put him down if he so much as heard from any other hunter that a ghost looking like John was lurking around. That was a promise.

Dean cast one more look over his shoulder before heading back out the way he came before Sam or Bobby realized he was gone. Warm breath billowed from his nostrils as he continued forward, boots continuing to crunch on the hard ground. Dean’s eyes welled in tears, but he didn’t dare let them fall. He was too emotionally cold to John to let that happen. 

He wasn’t sad that he was dead; Dean was sad that it hand’t happened sooner.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this and are staying safe and healthy!


End file.
